The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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