so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
