I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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