I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
