Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
