normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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