thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
