I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
