Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
