Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize