Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
