their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Randomize
