Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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