We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
