never play flip cup with pint glasses
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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