If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
