So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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