K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
