While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
