why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The power of my boobs compel you
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
