Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
