I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
