Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
