Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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