No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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