Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
