Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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