So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
