Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
