My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
There r osticjed everywhere
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
