don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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