Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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