Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize