He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
