May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
