Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
