she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
