Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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