Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
