Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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