lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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