If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
