Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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