I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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