The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
