Already got asked if we're dating
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
