Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
