You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
