the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize