My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
this beer tastes like vomit already
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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