4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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