I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I need help removing her.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
