I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
