was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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