I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
