i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
