I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
