I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize