I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
