i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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