i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
