Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
