I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
